I think I know how that quote, "It's darkest just before dawn", came about.

I'm sitting here at 5 AM and watching the moon slowly glide across the sky and weave in and out of the clouds. This I see through the window behind my computer, and yet from the skylight behind me, I can already see the sky slowly flooding with light. I can't help but think that the moon has something to do with tricking the eye into seeing the rest of the sky as darker than it truly is.

It's at times like this that I realize how good it can be to feel sad, or more accurately, somber. It's quite sobering from the constant feeling that one isn't getting enough out of life. At times like these, I wonder if other people feel the same. I wish there was someone I could share moment's like these with, but this has not yet come to pass, and I sometimes wonder if it will.

I often feel that the world is simpler when I listen to classical music. I feel that everything just falls into place, and there's no reason to worry or feel outcast. It's peaceful.

I suppose I developed a love for classical music when I would visit my grandparents on my father's side, Kenneth and Smiley Karst, or Fozzie and Dodie as I call them. They would always have the radio in the kitchen tuned to a classical station, KBACH I believe. Whenever we would go inside (We entered through the back door into the kitchen, everyone did) we would hear it. We'd say hello in the kitchen and then make our way into the den, where the stereo system would be turned on so we could better hear the music.

There was always a great big puzzle set up on a table there. It was always at least 1,000 pieces and it was always a new one each time we visited. Everyone would work on it in their free time, and we never looked at the box (That's cheating). Every night we would have a delicious meal of carrots, peas, eggs (When I used to eat them), tatter-tots, and salad. And every morning Dodie would make the best pancakes I've ever had. And she'd make them into all different shapes too (And I always ended up having a car, a smiling sun, and a giraffe, amongst other things). It was so good that I never even wanted syrup on them. The secret's to use a lot of vanilla.

Sometimes the whole family would get together. There'd be my uncle Kenny and his daughter Renae, aunt Leslie and her partner Robin, aunt Lura and uncle Doug, my dad Richard, my step-mom Lynn (Now Lalita), my step-sister Erin, and me. It was called Karst-mas (Be cause it was held in winter and we're the Karst family) and was usually held at Leslie and Robin's, but we haven't been doing it all that often anymore. I guess everyone's just really busy. We'd take a musical and make a home movie of us performing it, but there wasn't really any rehearsing and we only did one take. After diner we'd pop some party crackers, put the paper crowns inside on and play charades with the riddles and jokes that came out.

I seem to have rambled on a bit, and it's 5:50 now, so I suppose I'll end it here.

Oh, and one last thing, have you ever really just watched the moon as it sailed through the sky?